Author: Andrew
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A Tale of Two Hernias: Part One
So, I wanted to do a three part hernia series, but to start, I thought it would be funnier to list out the titles I thought of instead. I could go on forever. But I’ll stop for your sanity. It’s Sunday night at 8:50 right now. I am nervous to see the doc, nervous for…
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If I’m handcuffed, let’s make sure they’re fuzzy
I said this at work the other day. WORK! It was kind of funny. Some were appalled, others were laughing hysterically. I find it actually disturbing that this rolls out of my mouth so effortlessly. It shows that I truly want to be free of something. I really need to reevaluate what I say and…
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Stay in your lane…
Sometimes, you need to stay in your fucking lane. Sometimes, you need to stop following that hippie to yet another location. And sometimes, you need to realize someone or something is about to swerve…. My body swerved. So recently, I had my white blood cells drop to almost nothing. Which means the slightest breeze could…
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Would that it were so simple…
Oh lord, do people know how to make simple things complex. I think certain people think it’s their fucking job. (Actually in most cases it is. It is their job to make things difficult.) How can I make this thing that can be done by a normal person in an hour, complicated. And take longer.…
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What kind of dining set defines me as a person?
Stuck here struggling just a tad with a bit of misdirected aggression lately. I mean, don’t get me wrong, misdirection is the best kind of direction. And the best kind of misdirection is playing the long game. I don’t know who remembers the movie The Game, or Penn and Teller Get Killed, but these are…
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Burn rubber, not your soul
Biking is cool. Not as cool as getting hit on while jogging cool, (she asked if I was married. I said yes and she said lucky girl) but cool. I rode on the back of a dirt bike when I was a kid once. Once. My dad found out, and I was never allowed to…
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What are you doing?
Self-realization. I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said, “… I drank what?” – Chris Knight So I am going through a new interesting period of recovery. Self-realization. Some of it has to do with not drinking. How I think tons of time has passed, but it hasn’t been that long. Drinking…
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So, what’s the trouble with this beautiful machine?
I used to own this gorgeous 2002 cherry red Ford Ranger, with a 7 foot bed. (The kind of bed people would ask you to move their couches.) Bought her as a fleet vehicle for ten grand back then. She was a beautiful truck. Sadly she met its end about 5 years ago, but I…
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But I like the color of the bike shed…
Oh, my favorite topic right now. Parkinson’s Law. Also, when did I become so grumpy and, as Pam calls it, the “get off my lawn” guy. I kind of just yell at clouds at the moment, huh. I must just be frustrated. Angry at things I no longer tolerate. I am tired of being the…
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Don’t you know the Dewey Decimal System?
So there was this guy. Melvil Dewey. God, what a terrible fucking name. Anyway, he invented the Dewey decimal system in the late 1800s, and was also kind of a massive dick. I grew up using the system at school. What I didn’t know is that he was a horrible with women. Often organizing trips…